Thank god. That was the most long, grueling, annoying and albeit expensive semester ever. Long nights spent in the darkroom for photo was not a favorite, having an art history class at 5:30pm-6:45pm was not the greatest either; that was in fact the most boring class I've ever had. Painting...BLEH. Could have gone better I guess. I had no problem with Women Studies, I actually looked forward to that class every week. Now it's over, I'll be getting my grades next week and I have a month off to do whatever I want. Last night I saw Watchmen for the second time (omg only a second time?)and that was a great way to end the semester. Now I have Wolverine, Star Trek, and Terminator Salvation to look forward to this month. They're going to be great!

And I get to install Photoshop this weekend! I've never used it before!

I finally updated for once. XD No seriously I finally ended the almost two year hiatus with a whole bunch of goodies to upload but never bothered to. Alot of the new material will be the photography I've done since last summer, many were taken on my trip and you never know, maybe I'll include my black and white prints I've made in the last few months. During that time, I've made a stunning revelation that photography might be the field of work I wish to pursue in life. Taking pictures is fine. Making prints is a different story. Maybe that's why so many people have gone digital.

Spring break is over and school starts again tomorrow. Nice wake up call for the lazy; assignments and projects are due this week. Better get crackin'. The spring semester is almost over already; just three weeks to go. The mat board I ordered for my photo class hasn't shown up yet. Bad. Need that for final critique. Painting critique is Thursday and the painting isn't even done. Concentration has been on presentation for Women Studies that members of my group bailed on me for; all the work has been done by me. Must inform professor before she hands out the credit to those who don't deserve it. Not sure how I did on the Art History exam. I'll find out tomorrow. Getting a little nervous. Only a year left until graduation. The anxiety isn't from graduating, it's from what's going to happen afterward. I don't know what's going to happen except that the world I grew up in will end and a new one will begin. Don't like it.

It's been a very long time since I've done anything on this account let alone a journal entry, so I thought I should finally update for once.

For instance, it's 2009. I'm halfway through my fourth year in college and I still have alot more issues to sort out. With the economy the way it is, I don't know how long I can keep going there with the increasing costs of tuition, books, food, and of course, supplies for my art classes. My dad pays for everything and he's running out of work, and more than once I've considered leaving school to work. However if I did that, that would mean the last four years I've committed to a higher education would be a waste of time and money, and there's absolutely no way I'm doing that to my dad. That would be the day where he would consider me as a failure. More than likely it would also lead him to disown me.

Last year was practically a waste for I was distracted by many things and couldn't keep my focus in check and it cost me dearly; poor grades, decreased GPA and overall all interest in the world went out the window. Insomnia, depression, an overwhelming amount of stress and despair were the things keeping me down. I just didn't care about anything or anybody, it felt like my very life essence was sucked out of me and I was only a dry husk left behind.

Presently, I am no longer a husk, shadow, or a ghost of what I used to be. I got over my depression and insomnia, and I am working for a full recovery. The biggest issue I have is where my art is going; what I've been doing is very different from what has been posted on this page for years and in time, or very soon, my art will be more controversial, because that's what I want to do. I want to shock and provoke people all the while having them in awe. I can't do that making fanart and other stuff that won't sell. I'm finished experimenting with things. It's time for the real thing.

On the personal side, I'm constantly dealing with small obstacles, mainly dealing with my family's expectations and my own; some friends have said that I shouldn't be too hard on myself so much. I'm getting back in touch with friends I've lost, I'm not affected by them moving away since every friend I've had has moved away and barely keep in touch. The other thing that has been on my mind is whether or not I'll commit myself to a relationship, another thing brought up by friends and for the record, yes it would be nice for I've never been in one, however I am too busy with my current occupation as a full time college student. *sigh*

These are just the first few steps of sorting things out and getting my life back on track.

First off, yes I'm alive. Second, the semester's over!!! Finally! I'm so happy it's over; I had it rough this time around with things blowing up in the ceramics lab (my stuff got it the worst), I was running late all the time, didn't get much slack from my Japanese teacher , and probably the most stressful thing I had to deal with for the last month or so was my dad having skin cancer on his jaw. He's fine now, he went in for surgery yesterday and the doctors got the cancer out; he had to go back in today to check the stitches. I hate seeing my dad in that kind of state; it always has me on edge.

But on the brighter side of things, two weeks from this Sunday I'm leaving with my best friend and we're going to Germany for the summer!! It's only taken four years to convince my parents to let me go. What really convinced them? The trip to Tuscany and the Alps, and Croatia. Since most of my family is Italian, they are REALLY excited about me going to Tuscany because my family's Elders were from Sicily and I'm the first person in my family to return to Italy in many decades; maybe almost a century.

For the next two weeks, there will be nothing but preparing for this lengthy trip and hopefully there will be a party before I go. That will be awesome. Expect alot of pictures upon my return, I know I haven't submitted any drawings in many months but that doesn't mean I haven't been drawing!

Now I'm off to see Prince Caspian.